My Marriage 13th August 2011 – 1st August 2012

roseO Rose thou art sick.

The invisible worm, 

That flies in the night 

In the howling storm: 

Has found out thy bed 

Of crimson joy: 

And his dark secret love 

Does thy life destroy.

This poem is entitled ‘The Sick Rose’ and was written by William Blake (1794).  It is such a familiar poem but only last week (whilst lazing in sunny Sorrento) did it hit me between the eyes as to what a perfect metaphor it was for my marriage during the time that my beloved husband was shagging Pig Shit.

Interestingly, I have referred to adultery as a can of worms in a previous blog post and am now increasingly warming to the idea of my husband’s adultery as a vile and slimy worm.  (Sorry for any worm lovers out there)   The rose was my marriage. It looked so good on the outside and I foolishly thought my husband was a faithful and honest man.  However, I must admit to pangs of confusion, concern and doubt as the adultery progressed, as the invisible worm found my bed of crimson joy.   At the end, when I asked him to leave because he was constantly saying “I can’t be here” I was living in continual bewilderment, fear and pain.   His sordid secret, the worm,  was  destroying the life of our marriage.  Then the BIG Truth came out, I saw for myself the disgusting worm that was slithering in the deepest petals of my marriage. It was plump, ugly and blind.

What person in their right mind invites a worm into their marriage?  It’s somebody who doesn’t see adultery as a worm.  Maybe they see it as a butterfly (life’s short have an affair butterfly) or they underestimate the damage a worm can do to a rose.

My marriage was sick for a year.  However it still blooms and I hope that we have learned to protect our precious and beautiful rose.

Image Credit: Rose by antpkr via


5 thoughts on “My Marriage 13th August 2011 – 1st August 2012

    1. marriagerecovery Post author

      Hi Iris 🙂 Thanks for asking. The trip was good. Hot. Very hot. Typical English – I complained about the heat whilst in Italy and am now complaining about the rain and lack of heat here. Typical. Husband was very caring and accommodating around the heat – he’s a sun lizard – He was able to make me feel cared for and loved. Nice. Naturally, there was a Pig Shit night. Fuelled by wine but being together, so close with nothing but our leisure to occupy us, prompts me to think about us. He takes it very badly, more so now than earlier in the disclosure. He becomes very subdued and withdraws. However, it got it out of the way and any further mention was in humour and tease.

  1. CrazyKat1963

    As Shakespeare might say: “You canker blossom!” I actually am a fan of those big ugly brown worms that work their magic in my garden, but not the horrible little green ones that damage the gorgeous rose bloom. Roses are beautiful and hardy once the worms are obliterated, just like your marriage!


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