Spoiler Alert: This blog post includes a verbatim reply which I received yesterday in response to a blog post that I wrote nine months ago entitled ‘Wanting the Other Woman to Suffer’
It is from an Internet Troll therefore, as you’d expect, it’s an inflammatory message with a deliberate intent to provoke. It is my understanding that the responses that their messages invoke provide them with a certain kind of amusement. You have to wonder what type of character fits this bill don’t you. They must certainly have too much time on their hands? Whilst I have no wish to inadvertently provide any such entertainment, I do want to identify and respond, in my own way, to the miserable phenomenon of trolling which is a pernicious and insidious activity, particularly shameful when directed at betrayed spouses.
I have not approved the comments so they cannot be read as a reply on my blog. Equally, by not approving, the commentator is unable to respond anywhere else on my blog or join in in any on-going communications. That is my editorial right and exercises a certain responsibility of care towards people who may be at a very vulnerable point in their lives. I believe that I, along with you are part of an online community of articulate and eloquent thinkers who use this forum to explore ideas, emotions and experiences connected with the betrayal associated with adultery, and we do so sensitively. The comments made in CK Beamer’s reply are off-topic, neither eloquent or articulate or even well thought out, so although it may well start an argument (which is probably the motivation for the reply in the first place) it contributes absolutely nothing to any progress in understanding infidelity, adultery or the trauma of betrayal.
So, for those of you totally disinterested in Troll communications, read no further. For those of you new to the terrible wastelands of adultery I recommend that you ignore this post. In my actually being able to do this, and in wanting to do so, just demonstrates the distance travelled by me on the road to recovery. Goodness knows how I would have felt if I had received this in the early days of my blogging? For those of you strong enough, confident enough, interested enough, let me share with you the comments that are the verbal equivalent of battery acid. By the way, I don’t think it will take you too long to work out the status of the troll responding!
You are a bitch. Plain and simple. The fact you are content in your husband being a pig and using a woman for her body until he got bored and went back to you shows you are a cold, sadistic piece of shit. I’m surprised this is still up and going after a year and a half. Get over it. Your internalized misogyny is gross and violent. You can pretend you’re some uplifting feminist trying to rectify “girl hate” and competion but the fact you kept a man who lied and cheated and are the brink of forgiving him while slut-shaming an innocent (yes, she is innocent compared to your filth of a man) woman shows your character. I sure wish you dedicated an entire blog shaming your husband. No. You’re the bitch who gave him a slap on the wrist and had him come home to your genitals after he had his cake by sleeping with a single woman. You said she came onto him according to your husband. That’s where I first knew you were a misogynistic bitch listening to some patriarchal proganda from a man. Delete this blog, delete you and your pig of a husband, and go to hell.
So there you have it. I grant you immediately, an incredible amount of flawed reasoning but we wouldn’t expect anything else would we? The delusional cognitive somersaults of the Other Women are what permits her to do what she does in the first place. The web address on the reply is not valid, but from the e-mail I can tell you that she thinks of herself as a ‘hippiegoddess’. Didn’t hippies want to make love not war? Aren’t goddesses greatly admired for their beauty? Go figure!
Anyway, just for a bit of fun I thought I would poach an idea from Chump Lady who has designed a Universal Bullshit Translator to decipher the messages delivered by cheating husbands. I thought I might tweak her idea a little bit, hoping she won’t mind, and design a Vitriolic Verbal Garbage Detector; a VVGT that can be used to decipher messages delivered by Internet Trolls. Here goes my first attempt…
You are a bitch. Plain and simple.
You are a wife to somebody and I hate that you should be so significant.
The fact you are content in your husband being a pig and using a woman for her body until he got bored and went back to you shows you are a cold, sadistic piece of shit.
I hope and pray that you are not happy with your husband. It unsettles me. It’s why I’m writing to you. I am upset that Pig Shit, who worked so very hard to provide all manner of sexual delights managed to bore your husband. How can this possibly be? Why would a husband want to go back to the woman who he has been having sex with for years and years and years. I despise this. I hope this message hurts you even though I don’t know you and you have done me no harm. I am a cold sadistic piece of shit.
I’m surprised this is still up and going after a year and a half. Get over it. Your internalized misogyny is gross and violent.
I’m not dumb. You can tell, I was there the day they did sums. I’ve worked out that you have been writing this blog for a year and a half. Why are you getting over it? I was absent for psychology 101 but I think internalisation is something I understand. Unfortunately I was sick the day they covered projection. However you are clearly a woman who is trying to come to terms with betrayal. With that in mind it is obvious that my reply here is gross and violent.
You can pretend you’re some uplifting feminist trying to rectify “girl hate” and competion but the fact you kept a man who lied and cheated and are the brink of forgiving him while slut-shaming an innocent (yes, she is innocent compared to your filth of a man) woman shows your character.
You haven’t said you are a feminist but I reckon you are a wannabe, unlike me. I understand all of this. When I was at school, in my playground we had a lot of girl hate. I hated loads of them. Especially the pretty ones or the ones who the boys liked. Tell me please, how have you ‘kept’ your man? Why can’t I? Your husband lied and cheated (don’t forget he lied to poor Pig Shit as well) so why are you forgiving him. If you didn’t forgive him, Pig Shit would have ‘kept’ him. Just because Pig Shit wanted your husband and participated in the conspiracy to betray you does not take her innocence away. Does it? I’ve been/ I am the OW and I know that these men are filth. Any man who commits adultery is filth. Oops – I’m not only a girl hater, I’m a man hater too. I think your character can be summed up by the fact that you love you husband dearly and are working hard with him in order to restore your marriage. As an Internet Troll I’m not sure how my character might be summed up.
I sure wish you dedicated an entire blog shaming your husband. No. You’re the bitch who gave him a slap on the wrist and had him come home to your genitals after he had his cake by sleeping with a single woman.
As a man hater I would much prefer you to write a blog about the filthy men who commit adultery, but you won’t and that makes you a bitch. He should have had his balls cut off not just a slap on the wrist. Or, and better still, he could have stayed with Pig Shit and given her all the things that are missing in her miserable life. You’re having sex and I’m jealous. All the OW was, was a bit of cake on the side and she was single as well – you don’t understand how lonely us single women get whilst waiting for their married man to leave their wife.
You said she came onto him according to your husband. That’s where I first knew you were a misogynistic bitch listening to some patriarchal proganda from a man.
I think you think she thought he came on to her. You’re probably right. Availability is the single most important factor when married men are looking for a bit of cake on the side. But, this thought in itself is a clear indication that you hate women. What more evidence do I need? Plus, you don’t know but I read a chapter on sociology once and I know about patriarchy. Problem is I haven’t yet worked out patriarchy’s relationship to misogyny. Can I get back to you on that? Oh, and as you can see, I missed a few spelling lessons too.
Delete this blog, delete you and your pig of a husband, and go to hell
I would prefer it if women liked you stopped writing about the trauma of betrayal, it’s starting to get under my skin. Why can’t you and your husband divorce! May all happily married men and women die so that I can go to hell shagging all the married men I can.
Well what do you think. Is there any mileage in the Vitriolic Verbal Garbage Detector?
Image Credit: Exclamation Mark Shows Attention Risk And Danger by Stuart Miles via freedigitalphotos.net