Once I had found out about my husband’s infidelity my head became a sea of questions about his actions and consequent betrayal of my trust. Many questions that I asked him resulted in me becoming very frustrated because he didn’t seem to fully understand himself what had happened or why he did it. This meant that I needed to find information from elsewhere and I am indebted to the following resources for helping me to better understand what had happened in my marriage and for providing me with a much larger canvass for me to place my personal narrative of the experience of adultery.
Peggy Vaughan has been a prolific writer and champion of the need to recognise firstly the hurt and destruction caused by extramarital affairs, and secondly the need for help in healing from the experience. Unfortunately she died in November 2012 but it is possible to access her words of wisdom. Her web page Dear Peggy is a cornucopia of support!
BAN the Beyond Affairs Network, set up by Peggy Vaughn. “A life-saver for people struggling alone to deal with a spouse’s affair. The isolation of dealing with this alone can make a bad situation even worse. BAN provides support and strength from people who understand and identify with the issues a person faces. There’s nothing like interacting with others who have been there.” Find out if there is a support group in your area that you could join.
Anne Bercht is the woman who carries the baton from Peggy. Anne wrote a book entitled My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me and has taken over the role of director at the Beyond Affairs Network (BAN) which offers resources and advice for families and couples committed to recovering from infidelity and surviving extramarital affairs . Anne along with her husband Brian are committed to helping couples and individuals affected by infidelity restore their lives and get from broken to healthy and whole again via their Passionate Life Seminars. There are free useful resources and interesting podcasts which help to put things into perspective as well as seminars and counselling opportunities.